


Best things in life are free

by Esinde Nayrall (red_squared)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-05
Updated: 2010-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-19 02:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_squared/pseuds/Esinde%20Nayrall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Sirius' birthday. And for my fabulous co-conspirators: <a href="http://gryffindor-j.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://gryffindor-j.livejournal.com/"><strong>gryffindor_j</strong></a>, <a href="http://midnitemaraud-r.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://midnitemaraud-r.livejournal.com/"><strong>midnitemaraud_r</strong></a>, and <a href="http://mindabbles.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://mindabbles.livejournal.com/"></a><strong>mindabbles</strong>. Originally posted <a href="http://red-squared.livejournal.com/121438.html">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best things in life are free

  
"You know, we don't have to go anywhere special for this," Sirius says, as he turns the package over in his hands.

"What?"

Sirius looks vaguely impatient, the way he always does when Remus fails to understand something he's said, as though it's _Remus'_ fault he doesn't make any sense to anyone but James.

"Do you mean," Remus tries, before Sirius can make things worse, "that we don't have to go anywhere expensive?"

Sirius blushes slightly. 

 _And what makes you think we're going anywhere at all?_ is what he wants to ask, but doesn't.

Perhaps he should be playing along. It's obvious that Sirius has decided he knows what Remus has planned for his birthday, and it is equally obvious that Remus can have quite a lot of fun at his expense.

"Open your present, Padfoot," he says, unable to hold back a smile.

Sirius still looks faintly embarrassed, but starts to remove the wrapping from the package.

What he has in mind for tonight _isn't_ expensive, but he hopes that Sirius likes it even so. And while part of him does find it sweet that Sirius is worried about Remus 'wasting' money on him when Remus doesn't _have_ much money, the rest of him wishes that Sirius would catch up to the idea that this is how things are going to be for the rest of their lives.

He will _never_ have as much money as Sirius. His employment prospects will _always_ go up and down with the state of affairs in Wizarding England ;because he _isn't_ independently wealthy. And because there's a war on -- particularly this one, which seems to be dividing the world by blood purity -- people aren't as comfortable identifying themselves or their children as Squibs. And that means that 'Professor Lupin' (he might not have any official qualifications, but he _does_ have his father's briefcase and it's hardly his fault if people draw the wrong conclusions) doesn't have as many students as he otherwise might.  
   
And _that_ means that instead of being able to take Sirius away for a dirty weekend in Malaga as he'd done once before, all he can give Sirius _this_ time is -- 

"I want to say it's for painting," Sirius says, disassembling the kit and lifting up the bowl and the brush in either hand. "But you know I don't -- It's not, is it?"

"I suppose it _could_ be used for painting," he concedes. As much as he wants to laugh, it occurs to him that there is some merit in what Sirius has suggested.

 _Right. Small change of plan_.

"Why don't you head to the bathroom and start getting ready," he says, before quickly adding, "since we're going to go out tonight."

Sirius blinks at him before his expression shifts to bewilderment. "Aren't you going to... All right," Sirius says slowly, tucking the bowl and the brush back into their leather case.

"I know. I still haven't told you what your present's for," he concedes, making faint shooing motions before he bodily hustles Sirius out of the room and into the corridor. "But why don't you get started, I'll come along and join you in a bit, and then I can _show_ you what it's for."

He really, _really_ hopes that the shops are still open.

~*~

When he gets back, the bathroom is full of steam but empty of Sirius.

A quick look around shows that while the bath clearly has not been touched, the shower _has_.

"Sirius!"

Sirius wanders out of his room without a stitch on, toweling his hair dry. "You said you were going to join me, but -- "

"I told you to get in the bath!" He's aware that he sounds more annoyed than he should, but it's with that fucking, _fucking_ 'convenience' store rather than with Sirius.

_All right. **Another** change of plan, but it's not all ruined yet..._

"I thought we were in a hurry to -- "

"Bad dog," he says in as low and as dirty a tone as he can manage. "Get in the bath at once so you can be seen to properly."

Sirius goes very still, before he drops the towel, straightens up and then walks up to stand very, _very_ close. "And this time, you're coming too?" he asks.

"I'm so proud of you, doubling your entendres at last," he says, following behind Sirius so that he can admire the view.

"Pervert."

"Prude."

It's a good thing he spent the afternoon scrubbing the bathtub clean, because Sirius -- being the fussbudget that he is -- inspects it before getting in.

"Aren't you getting in?"

"Not just yet," he says, flicking his wand at one of the taps and letting the pale, orange bubbles fill the bath. "Now. Before anything else," he says, soaking a flannel in hot water, "what has James told you about tonight?"

"Nothing," Sirius says automatically.

" _Sirius_."

"Yes?"

" _What has James told you about tonight?_ " he asks, bringing the flannel across to wipe up Sirius' throat and along his chin -- all clean shaven already, damn it.

"Nothing, really. I mean... He mentioned something about you buying me new clothes?"

"New..." _What?_

 __"Or a new suit?"

Ah. That sounds closer to the mark. "Not a _new_ suit," he says, wondering if Sirius has been soaking long enough for this to work. It's not something he's tried before, and the last person he wants it to go horribly wrong on is his boyfriend. "More like... making the most of the one you've got already," he prevaricates. "Stand up a bit," he says, reaching for a nearby towel and folding it before resting it on the edge of the tub. "And now sit. Facing out," he adds, helping Sirius get into position.

"Remus."

"Mmm?"

"What the hell are you up to?"

It's a good thing he made the run to the shops after all. He's not game to try this with the straight-razor that's in the shaving kit he gave Sirius -- along with the shaving brush and the bowl for mixing the cream in.

_Painting. God help me, but I love you, Sirius._

__"Attend," he says, reaching for the leather case that Sirius had unwrapped earlier. "This is what Muggles use instead of Depilation Charms."

"But I've already used a -- Oh, no. I've ruined everything, haven't I?" Sirius says, biting his lip and looking contrite.

"No, of course not, don't be stupid," he says, rubbing one hand along Sirius' leg as the other rummages through the shopping bag for the can of shaving cream. "You haven't ruined anything because you haven't applied the charm all over," he finishes, uncapping the can and spraying the cream right down the dark trail of hair running from Sirius' navel to his groin.

"You really are a filthy pervert," Sirius says, spreading his legs with a grin that is dirtier than anything Remus has said or done or thought of tonight.

"You love it."

~*~

"I'm cold."

" _Calidus._ "

"Yeah, that's better," he says, shifting in the tub as the water starts to steam again.

"So Prongs got it wrong, and you haven't bought me new clothes after all?" Sirius asks, twisting slightly from where he is lying on top of Remus to put his wand back on the shelf.

"Do you really think I'd waste money on new clothes when I'd much rather have you bare?" he asks, running his fingers up Sirius' thigh and stroking the smooth skin. "I may have said something to Prongs about getting you into your Birthday Suit. Which you're in right now."

Sirius is a bright boy, and it doesn't take him long to work out what Remus means by that.  
   
"That still doesn't explain what your present _does_."

"Painting," he says disingenuously. There's a bowl, after all. And a brush. And -- after his dash to the shops and back -- a bottle of chocolate sauce. "Like I said," he murmurs, nuzzling into Sirius' ear, "I'll show you."

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated and treasured -- even (especially?) on a fic as old as this one!


End file.
